Richard’s Best of 2015
My top five high highlights of 2015.
As 2015 slips like an eel down a muddy bank, it is that time when we reflect on the past before we revel in the possibilities of a new year with the optimism and hope of a dog’s wagging tail.
2015 was a typical year of wars, refugees, beheadings and poverty, none of which impacted in the slightest on me. Blessed with living in the worlds most farthest country in New Zealand’s farthest city, I sit smugly removed from trouble.
This is of course not luck. My ancestors, two Scottish brothers made the strategic decision to leave the land of silly skirts and lunch made of sheep’s bottom, and board a very small boat for a very small fare hoping that after six months they would be rolling in clover. Several generations later, I am up to armpits in clover and thankful to my penny pinching ancestors who could have paid an extra 50p and gone to America, a much shorter journey and they would have been met by hamburger laden pilgrims with ripe and plump daughters, just what a couple of young Scottish chaps need after the ravages of scurvy at sea. But no, because it was free, George and Alexander opted for the mystery weekend, which in the 1880’s really did mean you got what you paid for.
Anyway, I digress. As I was saying, the year past provided me with no personal suffering (that’s if you don’t count the dog farting in the bed as suffering). Rather, the year provided many highlights.
Number 1. Marrying the fabulous Mrs Bain. Yes, surrounded by immaculately dressed friends and family under a hot February sun, Mrs Bain vowed to look after me even if I am ill and poor. I vowed to never fart in the bed (bloody dog) and to always tell her how grateful I am for her agreeing to marry me.
Number 2. Being in the cast of Mama Mia. Over 15,000 people came to see New Plymouth Operatic’s Mama Mia and of those only two came to see me. Yes, my parents paid full price to see their offspring in action. The other 14,998 clapped, sang and danced to a cast led by people with more talent than a Rolling Stones party. As it happens, the fabbalicious Mrs Bain was also in the show – upholding her vows to always look after me.
Number 3. The World Cup rugby. Now before you groan, hear me out. New Zealand is made up of two groups. Those who love rugby, and those that hate it. There is no one in the middle. You never meet people who think rugby is ok. There is no mocaccino rugby fan. You drink rugby or you don’t. The great thing about winning the World Cup is that both groups are happy. Rugby lovers are like a dog rolling in a dead chicken-happy that for the next little while they can strut with impunity. The rugby haters are happy that the rugby lovers will now relax – no TVs will be thrown through windows for 4 years and with with any luck a free trip to Japan could be on the cards.
Number 4. The flag debate. All designers should reflect on the flag debate with deep seated admiration. Irrespective of whether the flag actually finally changes or not, the new flag will come much closer than most people thought remotely possible. The reason for this is that the process for setting up the alternative was completely brilliant. All designers should learn from this. If you want to sell a design to a skeptical community, the flag process is your template.
Number 5. The Len Lye centre opened in New Plymouth. According to the those who think councils shouldn’t spend money (if you are one of these I would recommend you read a book about economics – any book will do, for you will not find any economist who agrees with your ridiculous analogy between public spending and the family cheque book) the Len Lye centre was akin a herd of white elephants. Now that it’s finished we can literally reflect in its glory.
So there you have it. My top five 2015 events. Roll on 2016. I’m really hoping that they sort out the shenanigans over hover boards. I have a feeling that if they do, then 2016 will be the year when we finally get rid of cars and get back to the future.
Richard Alexander Bain
self confessed revisionist