Top Ten Disappointments
Life is full of joy and wonder – yet some things are just so disappointing.
Here is my top 10 list of regular disappointments.
10
Sky TV’s ‘end of recorded programme’ message.
Sitting comfortably in our lazy boy chairs we lean forward in anticipation of finding out “who was the biggest loser” – turns out to be us as, WHAM! – the dreaded message comes up and we scream NOOOO! in anguished disappointment.
9
Doubles Tennis.
Singles tennis is such a fabulous sport to watch. It was thrilling to watch ‘Ice Borg’ beat McEnroe in 80, and witness Seles vs Graf in 92. Yet, doubles tennis is so unbelievably disappointing, and well quite frankly – ridiculous. The constant high fiving, whispering, and ungainly crouching is like watching Meercats who have just spotted a hungry snake.
8
A non-working escalator.
Stepping cooly onto a moving escalator is one of life’s simply joys. To take that first step only to find it not working makes such unexpected hard work out of what should have been a moment of nonchalant suave simplicity.
7
Looking in the mirror at 50.
We know what it’s going to be like but we do it anyway. Firstly, non recognition. Then the image comes into focus and we hope. But it’s to no avail. The face before us quietly mumbles “somewhere back there you reached your peak”. If only we had known at the time and could have savoured it longer.
6
Tinted contact lenses.
You meet someone at the party and WOW, they have the most amazing eyes. So blue so green! You say to them “Gosh you have amazing eyes”, and they don’t let on. It’s only later that the penny drops – so disappointing at every level.
5
A cold bath.
You know, you fill the bath, you hop in and….. buggar its too cold. After much tap turning and elbow dipping you try again but its too late. Its just not the same.
4
Finding out that Mr Brady was gay.
“Not that is anything wrong with that”. Its just that he was so…well….you know……heterosexual with Mrs Brady (and possibly Alice).
3
Toasters that lie.
Just ‘You Tube’ Eddie Izzard, he has one of these. You are starving hungry and the butter is calling your name. Boing! Buggar, need I say more.
2
Coffee in England.
Walk into any cafe and the pieces are all there. The shiny starship enterprise coffee machine gleams with promise. The barista is young with facial hair – precisely trimmed. There is much whirring and dripping, and scented steam fills the air swelling our nostrils with excited anticipation. And then…….and then, the barista hands over a cup of grey dishwater. Where did it go so horribly wrong?
1
A floury apple.
There is nothing, yes nothing so disappointing as rubbing a bright red beautiful apple to a mirror sheen only to take and bite and find it floury! I am always sucked in – this time it will be different. Such promise – such a let down. My number one disappointment.
Of course I have not listed the obvious. It goes without saying that not getting sex on your birthday is disappointing, or when your children tell your mother-in-law that they love her.
However, I think you will agree that it’s the unexpected little things in life that can rock you back on your heels and give you pause to consider just what is important.
Richard Alexander Bain
self confessed optimist