Daughter’s Rebuttal
I received this from my daughter in response to last week’s blog about self help books.
Papa Bain thinks self help books don’t work… I beg to differ.
This past year, I’ve had my heart ripped out and chewed on.
Other than the obvious recovery techniques of moving to Amsterdam, substance abuse (sorry Dad) and frequenting at Techno Tuesdays until 6am, I enrolled in the Life School of Big Sisters. My oldest sister had decided it was time to force some tough love on me in the form of self help books.
Firstly I should admit, this wasn’t a voluntary enrolment.
The first required reading turned up within our weekly coffee delivery at work. I guess that after weeks of historical phone calls to any family member stupid enough to still answer my calls, they had had enough.
#GirlBoss was undoubtably one the best things I have ever read. With next to no mention of boyfriends, husbands, fathers, flings or one night stands, the absence of men from this book was the cure I needed. Said GirlBoss taught me that sure, you have no idea where to go from here, but that’s how everyone feels.
No one had ever told me that even the most successful woman start off confused, poor and too often, heartbroken. Suddenly, I was able to see a life beyond my relationship – mostly in the form of girlpower playlists, late night dance sessions and any clothing containing sequins. I will never forget a conversation with my brother-in-law during one of his big brother chats where he just turned to me and said “You just need to go out there and GirlBoss it”. Ah ha! It was catching on!
Next weeks delivery (sponsored by Ozone Coffee Roasters – Quality Prevails Yea!) contained HeadSpace. It was the more serious, get your life sorted book. The semester had really begun – this was not a lecture you wanted to attend hungover.
Headspace is something I will strive for the rest of my life. Sure, we should all try and live with mindlessness like Papa Bain suggests, but the reality is, we can’t all switch off that tape recorder playing 24/7 in our minds.
Andy Puddicombe has been through everything and more than any reader. So of course it left me in floods of tears reading it on my flight back from rehab (two weeks with Mum in quaint-as-can-be Jersey) but then again, two weeks on that Island can do that to a person. I won’t spoil the story because everyone really should read it, but let’s just say it has taught me the most valuable lesson to date: you cannot stop or control your thoughts, you can only guide them in a calm and gentle way.
Next up on the course catalogue I received You are a Badass! So at this point, I think I’m pretty invincible. I mean, I obviously did something right to get this ego boost! It really was a relief considering I was at the point of comparing thoughts to a wild stallion who couldn’t be tamed.
The first chapter informed me that any flaws or loose screws I may have are the fault of your parents. Great! It quite clearly pointed out that genetics are the reason we are crazy as it gets passed through the generations. To be honest, I didn’t actually read past this chapter. I had already been told everything I could need – that I’m a badass and can blame everything on my parents.
I never received my semester grades, but I like to think that it would be an A+. From London to Amsterdam and now on to Melbourne, I have left a trail of blood, sweat and tears (mostly from drunken dutch cycling) saved by three self help books embedded into my soul.
Thanks Paps for all the late night and early morning counselling sessions, but you can’t win ’em all. They really do work. Self Help books, along with kale and coconut water, will be making a regular appearance in my kickass, girlpower world.
*Side Note – The Life School of Big Sisters only comes in the form of post-it’s on Amazon deliveries. So if you need advice, you will have to find your own kickass sisters I’m afraid.*
Emily Bain
Self confessed emotional, lactose intolerant hipster