It’s the economy stupid
Welcome to Bonsai Blog – (opinion that’s smaller than it looks)
The Economy
Ever since Bill Clinton’s campaign strategist famously said ‘it’s the economy stupid’ (it’s a shame he didn’t also say, ‘Bill don’t smoke cigars near the interns’) it’s all politicians ever talk about. Not that I blame them. If the masses have money to buy posh pies and TVs they are less likely to set fire to shop fronts and everyone remains as happy as a python picnic in a piggery.
Covid has of course thrown the sandwiches into the swill. To protect us from death, the government has had to shut us down tighter than Cher’s forehead and thrown around amounts of money so large that ‘government debt’ has become as meaningless as ‘sugar-free’.
Two years on and we are still not done.
As sure as a pom missing a penalty, the next few years are going to be all about how to repay Covid debt. The debate will be relentless. National will want to cut taxes and slash government spending, while Labour will raise taxes and swell Wellington into a bureaucratic behemoth. The Greens will turn off your power, and Act will print guns.
Trust me, the politics of the next few years are going to be as predictable as a Black Caps batting collapse.
To help get us through all this I have come up with several solutions that will not only enable you to ignore politics, but your enjoyment level will also soar like a soprano’s bosom.
Firstly, don’t listen to talkback radio. Nothing will destroy your faith in humanity faster than first-time caller Wayne suggesting that all we need to do is strip the poor of their meagre funds and shoot all their dogs. In this same regard, do not under any circumstances listen to Mike Hosking. According to him, everyone is an idiot except him, and according to him, the answer is simple, which of course it never is.
Secondly, only watch the history channel. Or, if you can’t afford Sky (who can? – your time will come Sky) go to the library, or at least walk backwards so that you can see where you have been. History teaches us so much. For example, did you know that many of the world’s disasters were actually caused by lack of sleep – Chernobyl, Three Mile Island, the Space Shuttle explosion – yep lack of sleep. Will we ever learn?
Thirdly, pay people more. Covid has taught us that actually, the government can find money when it really wants to. If we want to get out of our low-wage economy then we have to start paying people more. In 1979 the minimum wage for adult workers was $1.95 an hour, $11.10 in 2018, $20 in 2020 and $21.20 in April 2022. So it has increased 987 per cent over 43 years. In that same period, houses have increased by over 3000 per cent! Now to be fair, over that period clothing has only risen by 210 per cent but that’s because we used to make our own and now they are made by Chinese named So-Yung.
That’s not to say that life is all about money. Remember the 1970’s ( I can). We had other substantial lifestyle advantages compared to today. For a start we had disco. This provided both an uplifting beat and was accompanied by extremely funky clothing. Who needs to carry a handkerchief when you have flared trousers.
We also had weekends. Sport was all around us as barefooted skinny kids ran about on frosty turf. The shops were shut, which was jolly fine. Sunday was a day of rest, which after all that sport on Saturday was welcome. Ok, church was as boring as a pouting selfie but before we knew it we were back home eating roast mutton. Happiness enveloped us despite being cold and hungry.
So there are lessons here. To be happy we should avoid politics for fear of constant disappointment, read more history (and bonsai blogs) and reign in materialism. Oh, and be kind to dogs.
Richard Alexander Bain
self-confessed econowhiz