It’s Hard To Believe

It’s Hard To Believe

In this age of global connection, it’s hard to believe we all don’t think the same. 

The world is unbelievably connected – just ask sexy Siri.  As information envelops us like a London fog, there seems to be no excuse for ignorance.  Even if you wish to escape it you don’t know in which direction to go, and if we make a mad dash for it, we may bang our nose, or will almost certainly become stupid.

Given the accessibility of information, some of the crazy things that people still seem to believe is remarkable.  I won’t go into a long list of nut-job beliefs but let’s just say that you are probably out of step with your brethren if you think the earth is flat or that leaches are good for your complexion.

Increasingly, we expect those around us to be in the know and believe accordingly.  For example, it would seem fairly odd if we met someone who claimed that moderate exercise is NOT good for your health, or that drinking Coca Cola for breakfast is a healthy energiser before school.

Therefore, it comes as a bit of a shock when we come across views that seem contrary to general, and well disseminated, wisdom.

In the world of landscape architecture, it would certainly raise eyebrows if a member of our fraternity were anti walking and cycling, or, even worse, pro car.

That would be like a whale not liking scuba diving – it’s just not right.

Similarly you won’t find many of us in the design and environmental professions who deny global warming – it’s just right.

So where am I going with this?  My point is, that there are a myriad of things that we just assume are universally believed. That the earth is round – that sort of thing, or that Tiger Woods plays better when he’s getting some.

When we meet others, we are fairly confident that there will be a set of core beliefs/commonalities that are now collegial.  We instinctively know what things go without saying, of which there are many, and which things may be contentious, of which there are few.  By and large, the community I live in is a fairly agreeable place.  Capitalism good, Catholicism bad.  Organic good, orgies bad.  Drinking good, drugs bad.  You see what I mean.  Not too much to disagree with here.

The basis for my assertion in this matter is that in my daily encounters, I seem to find general agreement – the views that others espouse seem to by and large meet my expectation. There seems to be real commonality among us.

It appears that others seem to experience the same thing, which means that what I am about to tell you seems somewhat surprising.  On closer inspection, despite the overwhelming sense that I am happily in touch with my fellow citizenry – in fact, I seem to be out of step.  Initially, I had not noticed anything untoward, but then I noticed something strange.

Whenever I speak with people on matters of behaviour or opinion, I find that upon nonchalantly stating my position, instead of receiving nods of tacit agreement or approval, I receive disbelief.  Not disagreement, not debate, not dissent – disbelief.

I am simply not believed. “That can’t be true” “you don’t believe that” they reply with wide eyes and incredulous tones.  We are so used to common values, that when we come across divergence , we simply don’t believe that someone actually thinks or does that.  Disagreement I can handle, but disbelief – that’s something different.

Let me explain.  If the Prime Minister says he eats babies, we simply would not believe him.  Fair enough. It is clearly ridiculous.  But if he says he eats only processed food, we would also not believe him.  Why not?

It just doesn’t fit our world view. We have expectations of others that are set in stone and are hard to shake.  We have become internationalised. Call it the McDonaldification of ideas, McPhilosophy if you like, although that does slightly insult the megachain’s broad range of culinary fare.

Which brings me to personal experience.  I find myself increasingly not believed.

I find this is surprising.  I had assumed that my idiosyncrasies were within the realms of normal divergence.  I assumed my world view was the same as yours.

As it transpires, I am not the norm. Who would have thought? I seem so normal to me.

Here are some examples of what I am on about.

Now I don’t drink much, in fact, I drink very little.  This is not because of any higher moral purpose, rather, alcohol just doesn’t really do it for me.  So….I hardly drink at all – in the realm of about one glass of wine per fortnight.  When I tell people this they simply don’t believe me, after all, everybody drinks.  Every time I go to the doctor with my heartburn and pot belly, he tells me to cut down on alcohol.

It’s the same with food. Because I am a frequenter of cafes, restaurants and general about town-ness, plus, I wear shirts any gay man would be proud of, people assume I am a foodie.  After all everyone is.  When I explain that I am off home to prepare a meal of Uncle Ben’s instant white rice topped with a can of Sea Lord tuna (I draw the line at Homebrand), I am simply not believed.

Yes, I have eaten all over the world and know my croissant from my crouton.  However, I am just not interested in food (other than for its hunger busting qualities).  I am just as happy with a pig in a blanket as a porc loin roulade enthusiastically infused avec arugula pesto.

Thirdly, in this age of the free marketeers, people do not believe that I am a communist.  Actually, I’m not a communist; I’m a social liberalist.  But to provincial middle class folk, anything south of capitalism is kommie.

Even so, I’m not believed.  After all I’m self employed and have a blue raincoat – apparently its unfathomable that I don’t vote right.

So there you go – I could give you other examples, such as how once my trusty hound heads to the great kennel in the sky, she wouldn’t be replaced, “but you love dogs”, “you couldn’t live without another pooch”.  My point is this, actually its Oscar Wilde’s point, “A man who does not think for himself does not think at all”.


Richard Bain
Self confessed self-made man

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Richard Bain