Las Vegas

I went, I saw, I was surprised.

1.5 million people a day visit the United States. Today I was one of them. We, (the effervescent Mrs Bain and I) are headed for Las Vegas. Why, I hear you ask? Well certainly not to gamble. Being tighter than a Scotsman’s jockstrap (skintight) there was no chance Mrs Bain was going to unleash her faux calfskin wallet on the croupiers of Sin City. No, we were in Las Vegas primarily because it was on the way to somewhere else. America’s sauce before the sausage.

Naturally, we we knew what to expect. Bright lights, dancing fountains and more one armed bandits than in the Death Star’s hospital wing.
However, despite prior knowledge based on watching the Hangover and Oceans Eleven, Las Vegas in the flesh offered surprises.

First up was indeed the lack of flesh. We expected strip joints and touts at every turn, but in the Strip ‘un-seedy’ was the overwhelming impression, as the street and casinos heaved with everyday Americans. Families, groups of friends, couples very much the order of the day. I’m sure the sleeze must be there but it certainly is not on show. Sydney’s King’s Cross could learn much from Las Vegas.

Which brings me on to the Strip – that section of Las Vegas Boulevard that contains the mother load of casino heaven. To my pleasant surprise, the Strip is quite compact and very walkable. Despite frontages bigger than a gamblers delusions, the main casinos are grouped together and are mostly interconnected with a convenient array of escalators and bridges. This is rather like having all your Christmas presents under your pillow. One can experience the buzz of Las Vegas within arms length. Moreover, if you are allergic to daylight or can’t cope with multi themed activity, you can stay completely within Paris, Venice or Egypt (to name but three) secure in the purity of your experience, for these themed casinos offer extensive one stop shops for the single minded.

Alcohol. Like smoking, we assume it’s on the way out as health advocates paint us cheery pictures of car crashes and babies born with alcoholic burps. It is therefore really quite strange to see people (and I mean lots and lots of people) walking around the Strip drinking – everything from beer to ‘yardies’ filled with colourful cocktails. Unlike most cities in the world, you are not confined to drinking within the establishment in which you purchased it. In Las Vegas it’s away we go – even through casinos that are posher than your grandmother’s tea set. Now here’s the thing. You would assume that the street would be full of debauched drunkenness. I can honestly say that in my three days of pounding the Strip’s I did not see a single drunk. Admittedly I was tucked up in bed by midnight, but even so.

Perhaps the most remarkable, and likeable, thing about Las Vegas is how public the casinos and hotels are. Remember these are some of the worlds most expensive buildings. Casino/hotels like Bellagio, Aria, the Venetian are mega flash – more plush than a shag pile carpet, and here’s the thing – you are allowed in! You just walk in, even carrying a drink that you bought down at happy hours r us. No dress code, no ID, no ‘excuse me sir but you are far too poor to come in here’, nope, you just stroll in like you own the place. It’s amazing. It gives a whole new meaning to the term shared space. I think this is the one truly remarkable thing about Las Vegas. You are welcomed with open arms.

And finally a word for my theatre and architecture/design friends. If you are a theatre person then you will 100% get Las Vegas. With some set design made of plywood and paint you happily buy into the world you enter. For the length of the show you play along and leave with a smile and jaunty gait. If you are architect or designer you despair at the fakery of it all, saddened by the casino owners’ foolishness of themes.

So would I recommend you visit Las Vegas? If you have never seen Cirque du Soleil’s Beatles “Love,” then you should go to Las Vegas for no other reason than to see this show. Imaginative beyond belief, and more fun than puppy in pyjamas, this show has everything to make you laugh and gasp in the same breath. If you’ve seen it already or you think the Beatles were nothing more than a 60’s boy band, then yes go to Las Vegas on your way to somewhere else. Think of it as the ultimate toilet stop. Speaking of which, the hotel lobby’s are famous for their extravagant beauty, but duck into the dunnies if you really want to be impressed.

So there you have it. Much has been written about Las Vegas and this blog will rank as a minuscule unnoticed opinion from someone from nowhere. On the other hand…..

Richard Alexander Bain
self confessed Elvis lookalike