The Power Of Porridge
The photo attached to this blog illustrates a couple of salient points.
In 2004 I was fat.
In 2017 I am thin.
Clearly, there must be some kind of back story to this. Well, as a matter of fact there is. My story is not remarkable in any way, but it is interesting, that is, assuming you find how to make a bowl of porridge interesting.
As child, I was skinny. Growing up in the 60’s, food was as scarce as nylon undies. Living on a diet of not-quite-ripe plums and running around and around in circles on ¼ acre sections, life for us baby boomer children was quiet, spacious, cold and hungry. The war, not long ceased, still created supply shortages – adidas footwear a euro dream yet to reach our remote antipodean shores. Food was the same. Avocados, pistachios, McDonalds – unheard of. Yoghurt was something alive and kicking in the hot water cupboard.
No, I’m afraid that the 60s were sparse. The streets were empty, as were our pockets and our pantries. The only up side was a sense of optimism and waistlines to die for. Man, were we thin. Fat kids were as rare as Australian virgins, and the only people that went on diets were movie stars. Remember, this was the era of the cheese fondue. Not eating just wasn’t contemplated.
As the swinging 60s merged into the funky 70’s and hedonistic 80’s, food availability swelled like puff pastry, providing us with an ever-expanding array of tantalising choices. I, like everyone else thought ‘yum’ and began to eat-out and drive-through. Man that chicken tasted good. Finger lickin good.
By the time the 90’s arrived I was a fully paid up member of the eat-all-the-time club and my weight went from 73 kg in 1990 to 103 kg in 2004, as clearly evident in the photo. I had stopped playing soccer at 35, so by 45 I was unfit and full-o-food on a daily basis.
But here’s the thing. When I was fat, no body told me. Nobody. Not my doctor, my dentist, my wife, my children, my friends, my dog, my colleagues. As a result, and this may sound hard to believe, I didn’t know that I was fat.
Enter Mr Google. After a few years of puffing and panting my way round the block, I typed in ‘how much should I weigh?’ Expecting Google to reply with “your’e looking good Rich, just eat and be happy’, instead I got ‘you should weight between 75 and 81 kg’! Holy intake of calorific breath Batman. You could have knocked me over with a large wrecking ball. Needless to say I immediately dismissed Google as a supplier of fake news, but did ask my friends, wife, and dog what they thought. They were polite but in agreement – I had eaten all the pies. Well, what to do? In a blind panic, I thought Ok lets go back to childhood when everyone was a thin as a model’s thigh. So I did. I recreated life in the 1960’s. This amounted to the following; eat only porridge, eat only porridge and, eat only porridge. So that’s what I did for 3 months.
Richard’s porridge recipe/routine
Do this every morning for 10 weeks and you will be 8kg lighter. Don’t believe me? Meet me for coffee and see for yourself.
Richard Alexander Bain
self confessed waifer